There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
