Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
