he puts the penis in happiness.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize