last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
