remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
