Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
