i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can you bring me the toilet please
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
