you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
