worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize