I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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