i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
