Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
