I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
