Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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