Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize