$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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