i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize