I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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