alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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