yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
