My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
