good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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