Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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