my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
