i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
