somebody snuck up and got me drunk
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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