pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
don't judge my taste in strippers
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
