the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
