Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
