Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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