i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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