you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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