wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
