Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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