They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
