Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Buhtt sex?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
