She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
