somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
