Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My breasts were aching with rage.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
