i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize