I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
