i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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