I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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