What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
