hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Say something about gay babies.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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