Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
