You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
