Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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