How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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