Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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