Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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