pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
