all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I think I just shit out all my problems.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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