My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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