Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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