first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize
