I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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