yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
