In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
