You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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