omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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