he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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