rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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