I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize